Should Cindy McCain keep the duct tape on her mouth?
Thursday January 21, 2010 9:43 PM  One of the popular myths in our country is that free speech means that you should be able to say whatever you want under any circumstances with no repercussions. This is a very selfish and self-centered approach to your right especially in the context of marriage.
Cindy McCain has joined her daughter in the anything but silent protest against California's Proposition 8. The point of this piece is not to argue the validity of Proposition 8 though I expect some people to have their opinions on my commentary colored by it.
I believe it was in poor taste for Cindy McCain to take such a public stand on such an emotionally charged topic while her husband is a sitting Senator. John McCain believes that marriage by definition is the union of a man and a woman. Both Cindy and their daughter Meghan are making it very clear that they believe otherwise.
So does this mean that the dutiful wife should stand silent, be seen and not heard and just go along with her husband? I think she should abstain from the "public" debate on such an emotionally charged issue for one simple reason, respect. I know all the ladies out there are steaming because you find this to be sexist. Before you blow your irrational lid, let me give you an example that my help you look at this issue a bit differently.
Imagine if Michelle Obama were to come out tomorrow and say that she thinks that the health care plan her husband is pushing was a disaster in the making. Imagine her loudly proclaiming that Scott Brown's victory in Massachusetts should be a signal to Washington D.C. to re-think their proposal. I can just see the hacks on MSNBC like Olbermann, Maddow, Matthews and Schultz telling her to just button it. Of course nobody would accuse them of being sexist because as you know it is IMPOSSIBLE for liberals to be sexist, racist or homophobic, right?
Let me give you a more balanced example. Former Vice President Dick Cheney has a gay daughter and supports gay marriage but he refrained from the debate until he was no longer working for George W. He did this out of respect, no other reason.
Two Exceptions to the Rule
 Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger chose to marry Maria Shriver who is politically active and is related to the Kennedy family. He is a Republican and she is related to a Democratic political dynasty. In this case, all bets are off. Granted I think it would have shown tremendous class for her to abstain from the political debate and support her husband but that is like marrying a smoker and then suddenly asking them to quit.
 Another example that perplexes me is that of James Carville and Mary Matalin. Here are two people that can't agree on anything yet they seem to have a solid marriage. I am sure dinner conversations are interesting. Maybe they could not find anyone that wanted to sit and yap about politics as much as they do and it actually is the glue that keeps them together. The only difference in this example is that they are pundits, not elected officials so the consequences of disagreement are a net zero.
Overall, having major philosophical disagreements within a marriage does not make for a happy and peaceful home. Marriages where couples are on the same page about major issues of religion, morality, family structure, finances and sex have a better success rate. Since it is rare for couples to agree on everything, one must always show respect for the views of their spouse as it is the loving and decent thing to do. In general though I believe that disagreements are not for public consumption and should be kept inside the home.
In the case of Proposition 8, the issue wasn't up for debate back when John and Cindy McCain were married so there was not an opportunity to come to a consensus before they said "I Do." Considering the lack of civility, unnecessary and often inaccurate accusations of "hate" coming from the anti-Prop 8 crowd, it puts John McCain in a tough spot. I can't see how this helps their marriage or how her opinion matters since she cannot even vote in the state of California.
If Cindy McCain wants to become an outspoken political advocate for causes contrary to her husband then she should put her money where her duct tape mouth is and run for political office. Let's see how open the opposition is when her husband contradicts her. Actually I don't need to wonder, I already know. He would be called a bastard.
Stay Sharp!
RELATED STORY: McCain's wife, daughter back gay marriage movement 
2 Comments on "Should Cindy McCain keep the duct tape on her mouth?" Anais says: "For once, I almost agree with you. If McCain was currently running for office, I would agree that it is disrespectful and inappropriate for his wife to so publicly oppose her husband's stance on a very contentious issue. However, the election is over and John McCain is not the president of the United States. I think that Cindy McCain's No H8 ads have actually served to renew the public's opinion of John McCain. Let's be realistic here; I'm sure she got the senator's approval before joining this movement. It speaks volumes of John McCain's character that he is comfortable with his wife having a very public opinion which opposes that of his own (and the majority of his party's). Cindy's ads have served to reestablish John McCain's beloved role as Maverick of the GOP."
Jan 22, 2010 cat says: (forgive the typos, im on my phone)
i didn't say anything about sexism. it has nothing to do with gender, and i am not irrational thank you very much. i don't think john mccain really cares one way or another about gay marriage, other than for the purpose of campaigning in an election that he didn't win. cindy supporting this issue is nothing like michelle hypothetically opposing the healthcare bill, b/c john mccain is in no way related to prop 8. she is going after an issue that is completely seperate from her husband's work. you would have a point if john mccain was the one driving prop 8, but he isn't. this is not a 'marital respect' issue, and i wouldn't aruge against a woman who has the balls to wear a bright pink barbie suit on tv, making all other females present look like scrubby school boys!
Jan 21, 2010
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